Prayers on Prayers
Not knowing but expecting the worse
Within moments, my heart felt heavy. I foreshadowed a circumstance like this happening for my parents so they can realize that they couldn’t be living the way they are… and then it happened in the worst way possible. She no longer had a pulse and we felt so far away no matter how fast we drove. The little bro saved her life by taking the initiative and following instruction over the phone to conduct CPR. I had no time to panic but kept replaying the question “Is she okay?” “She’ll be okay”. If my brother wasn’t there, that may have been the last time I saw her…
That morning, I was scolding my mom for waiting till the last minute to pay her bills. She knew that any of her children was capable of making online payments but still waited till the last minute to ask me. Feeling frustrated and irritated — I left an audio message in that tone but with sarcasm to “set up” her own bank account. But she knew through my frustrating tone, it would not stop her from asking me again.
She’s in ICU and been sedated for a little over 48 hours now… hoping and praying she will be okay and that she is not feeling any pain. Visitation is not permitted (COVID-19 limitations) — thank goodness for technology, the family is able to see her through video chat even though we all wish to be in the same room —holding her hand and reassuring her that everything is going to be okay. Just seeing her lie there with ventilators and tubes hanging out her mouth, sedated, just crushed my soul… and here comes the waterworks…
Immediately, the news traveled fast to family members and i found myself retelling the story over and over again. The more it was said out-loud, I realized that my mom would be okay — she will survive. She’s a “tough cookie” as the nurse said. Its typically mom that burns incense and pray for everyone else during bad times but now we have to pray and burn incenses for you —it hits different. I almost miss the smell of incenses lingering throughout the house.
I am extremely grateful for the circle of friends and family conducting their prayers for my mom. I can honestly say I felt the energy surrounding my family. I am so grateful for their support and the love they are sending our way. <3 I’m look forward to my mom waking up and telling her the funny moments in this whole experience (dad cutting his lip while attempting to give her CPR and your favorite son saved your life!). We also thought about pranking you that it’s 2030 and you have 5 grandchildren when you wake up. LOL You are a tough one! <3
