Recovery, Day 1

She is awake and fully conscious since 6am. I can barely hear the sound of her voice…her throat and vocal cords are slowly healing from an intense 48 hour ventilator and feeding tube living in her airways. Her voice sounds hoarse, there’s a frog in her throat.

She hears the sound of her children through the screen but her voice is not loud enough to make out the sentences. All the siblings took turns, passing around the Ipad, asking her “Do you know who I am?” — one by one, she says our names as loud as she could without straining her throat and here comes the water-works… she knows who we are. She see’s my brother’s obnoxious light blue hair “why is you hair like that” — she’s awake. :)

Coming from a Chinese-Vietnamese background, there are many language barriers when your children grow up Americanized. The doctor conducted a simple test on my mother’s cognitive skills while I translated to the best of my abilities, starting with “Do you know where you are?” She replies “hospital” —correct. “Do you know what city we are in” — this one was a tough translation, I didn’t know how to say “city” in Cantonese (the struggle is real) so I phrased the question to “The area we live in, not in LA but in _____?” she replies with the home address - so specific! *impressed*. Then came “What year are we in?” she thinks a little longer for this one and replies “it’s the year of the rat” (my mom is culturally into zodiac signs) and the doctors had to look it up to confirm —CORRECT. After the questions, there was one question that was lingering in her mind and she asked me “Why am I here?” Immediately, I had a what would you do moment — I felt sadness inside because I wanted to tell her the truth but was afraid of how she would react, so I replied “You just got sick and we brought you to the hospital to make sure you are okay. The doctors are helping you” — she seemed puzzled but accepted the answer. Knowing and understanding my mom’s character — she is the type to worry and stress about everything and everyone and I didn’t want to impose that onto her while she is recovering. My mom is always the one looking out for everyone FIRST before herself — this is the first time she is placed in a vulnerable position so it put her mind in a state of confusion. It crushed my heart for her not to know that she almost didn’t make it… The goal is for her to recover and we tell the WHOLE story later.

Before the session ended — she asked “Do I have to sleep here tonight” — “yes mom, you do. Don’t worry, we will see and talk to you tomorrow. Don’t worry and get rest.” She had not realize that three days had gone by, she is experiencing the first night not in her bed.

Lot’s of prayer and love for your recovery. #prayersOnprayers <3